is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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