the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Green mimosas i think yes
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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