I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
