Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
