she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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