Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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