That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
