I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
