I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
