Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
