Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
