There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
