You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come on in and take your pants off
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