Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
