Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
