How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
