I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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