...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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