White coat. Heels.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All the doctor said was why
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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