Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
