omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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