Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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