Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize