So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
