Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
