where am i from again
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
