apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
