The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
