Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize