That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
