happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
