Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
