It's Friday. Sex?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
