so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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