and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
