I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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