I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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