So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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