she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
