It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
