the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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