It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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