I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
