Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I want her autograph on my taint
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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