it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You're like the curious george of whores
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
