Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need a burrito and a hug.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
