That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
