Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
