I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am one with the molecules
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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