your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
