in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
