there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
