She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
