Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize