I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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