just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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