i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.