the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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