Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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(415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr

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(501): View more from Arkansas

recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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(501): recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree. http://tfl.nu/wbc5

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(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8

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(757): View more from Virginia

Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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(757): Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode? http://tfl.nu/1peu

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(434): View more from Virginia

i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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(434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z

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(513): View more from Ohio

Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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(513): Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/gja3

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(512): View more from Texas

I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.

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(512): I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now. http://tfl.nu/d3l4

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(937): View more from Ohio

The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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(937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0

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(718): View more from New York

I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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(718): I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra. http://tfl.nu/riuo

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(914): View more from New York

They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

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(914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh

Replies (2) Good night (2135) Bad night (498)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.

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(505): As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name. http://tfl.nu/zb1x

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.

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(970): I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl. http://tfl.nu/cu8p

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor

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(504): I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor http://tfl.nu/q7h4

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(443): View more from Maryland

I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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(443): I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket... http://tfl.nu/7x9r

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(205): View more from Alabama

You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.

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(205): You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food. http://tfl.nu/oef6

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