This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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