i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
