we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
