she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize