theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
40s are totally the cure
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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