I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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