nut hugger
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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