see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
